"THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO SAC" by Greg Ogletree

Post your missile poems, songs and other musings here.

"THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO SAC" by Greg Ogletree

Postby AE on Sun Jul 16, 2006 4:39 am

This is another piece of work that, when I first encountered it (in a Captain's Log, by an anonymous author), contained about a half-dozen "verses." But we had just recently added new levels of command to the hierachy so I felt a revision and some embellishment were called for. It ended up considerably changed from its original form:



THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO SAC

(A.K.A. ~ the "Book of Scatologies")


1. In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth. And in the Heavens, SAC placed the aeroplanes; and in the Earth, SAC placed the missile capsules. And men were called forth by SAC to harness these weapons of war ... and it was good.

2. And SAC trained the men to obey like dogs, whereupon they became known as "crew dogs." And SAC saw the crew dogs and said, "It is not good to mix those in the Heavens with those in the Earth." So SAC divided the winged from the wingless. And SAC called the winged "rated." And the others, SAC called "support."

3. And SAC looked and saw that the crew dogs were not proficient, so the Requirement and the Tasking were created. And the Requirement was without forms, and the tasking was often voided. But still the sun shined, the Earth turned, and the aeroplanes did not fall from the sky (much).

4. Then SAC looked and, seeing no documentation, said, "This is not good." So SAC created carbon paper, and a myriad of forms to be used therewith--and regulations, technical orders, manuals, pamphlets, etc., etc., etc. And darkness fell upon the faces of the crew dogs thereunder.

5. The crew dogs spoke unto their Flight Commander, saying, "This is a crock o' sh*t, and no one can stand the stench of it!"

6. And the Flight Commander spoke unto the Assistant Operations Officer, saying, "It's a crock of crap, and none may abide by the odor therefrom."

7. And the AOO spoke unto the Operations Officer, saying, "It is a pot of excrement, and none may abide by the smell thereof."

8. And the Ops Officer spoke unto the Squadron Commander, saying, "It is a container of defecation, and it is very strong--such that none may abide before it."

9. And the Squadron Commander spoke unto the ADO, saying, "It is a receptacle of night soil, and many are overpowered by it."

10. And the ADO spoke unto the DO, saying, "It's a vessel of fertilizer, and very strong."

11. And the DO spoke unto Wing Commander, saying, "It containeth that which aids growth and makes one strong."

12. And the Wing Commander spoke unto SAC, saying, "This powerful new stuff will help promote the vitality of the crew force!"

13. And verily, SAC listened, and said that it was good, and so that all should benefit therefrom, commanded that it be made manifest, multiplied, and promulgated throughout the Command.

Amen.
ILCS Class 31 / ALCS Class 90-2
490 SMS - 341 SMW/DOTI - 4315 CCTS - 4 ACCS - 2 ACCS
... and damned proud of every single one of my 476 nuclear alerts in SAC!
User avatar
AE
3 RVs
3 RVs
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Tue Jul 11, 2006 3:58 am
Location: Near Vandenberg

Return to The Missile Muse

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron