One of my b-i-ls wrote my daughter his recollection of me and my wife and my AF duties, and y'all are missing out not having a nutcase like him.
Excisions have been made to protect the ...
"We remember a time we were visiting in California. They had a hot tub (all the rage there in the '80s). We sat in the tub after dinner and drank wine and Sam told us about his busy days saving the free world from the Cossacks and Tartars and discussing the aesthetic merits of several deep holes in the ground he has occupied under the terms of his employment. We recall he was most enthusiastic about the hols sponsored by a football team that we think was the Tennessee Titans, although oddly enough the holes seemed to have been in Tucson AZ. Not sure why that is. But since is was soooo long ago (just after the dinosaurs died out - yes, he's THAT old), perhaps the team moved from Tucson to Tennessee in later years. Having lived in Tucson we can tell you that American Football is not a big draw there. He was less enthusiastic about the holes sponsored by Minute Maid since they seemed to be surrounded by Dakota. Not sure why Minute maid would be advertising so heavily in Dakota. Perhaps is was important to get more orange juice into the diets of Dakotans who have a strange sense of reality. Sam showed us a picture of a telephone pole and said it was the Dakota State Tree. You, (name), were born there of somewhere similar, so the orange juice perhaps has dome kind of effects we can only guess at.
At any rate, we recall hearing tales related to each state flag that Sam had in his collection, which were apparently paces he went on a "tour". He seems to have spent 20 years at that. Those include the Great States of West Dakota, Arizona (we mentioned Tucson already), Mexico (not sure when that became a state, but he was in some fiestas there), and a place called "Mizzoura" or "Missed Zooree" or "Misery" which figures heavily in his ramblings. And there was a set of stories about some place in Illinois called Ratatouille, which we thought was a movie about a rat who made stew. There was some training there, maybe a culinary school where Sam learned his many kitchen skills.